Re: Things to do after your dad dies

My dad died when I was 12 years old so I've never had to deal with losing a parent as an adult. Still, reading the accounts from For No One (opens in a new tab) and Absurd Pirate (opens in a new tab) instantly takes me back to how hard it was.

My parents were separated, and I had never spent more than just 1 or 2 weeks at a time with my mom. I was visiting her for the summer when my dad died. I remember playing possum on the sofa and overhearing my aunt and mom talking about it; that's how I first learned about his death.

In retrospect, I see how hard of a time this was for me. I do remember being upset at times with the adjustment. My dad died. I moved from Florida to Tennessee to live with my mom and her live-in wife (Lee). It was a very hard transition. I failed the 6th grade that year. I don't remember much about that school year if I'm honest. My school memory in Tennessee really starts with my second time through the 6th grade, when I met my best friend, David. We were in math class, and Mr. Moore called on me for some reason or another. I stuttered, and Dave made fun of me. We became best friends.

I remember one time I was crying in the shower because, well, my dad had just died and I was in a new place and my life was turned upside down. I was crying too loud, apparently, because when I got out, I got a dressing down from Lee. Why was I crying in the shower? What's so bad about living here? That should tell you a lot about the type of person Lee Beach was.

These days I think a lot about what I can do to prepare my family for my own death. I tend to focus on practical things like my aquariums and homelab equipment. I've been working on runbooks for what to do with it all. I've also spent some time thinking about what happens to this dumb blog. It feels like there are many more things to do.