Re: Who would ever read this?

That's the reason I've always felt that private journaling isn't for me. Is it an attention-seeking look-at-me kinda thing? I honestly don't think so.

For me, writing in public adds more reflection to the words. I can sit for a good while in front of a blank screen, not writing a single letter, just contemplating how to put words on what I'm feeling.

Robert Birming, Re: Who would ever read this?

I want to pause a beat with this thought because it's close to something I've struggled with a lot in my own thinking.

Earlier in life, I often found myself being blown around by the currents of life without having much in the way of my own plans, thoughts, or direction. I let external sources have an outsized influence on my own self-worth, thoughts, values, and ideas. I made a deliberate decision to resist my tendency to need external validation.

This is the main reason I don't post many journal type posts. For me, it feels performative and I just can't shake it. It's why I tend to focus on technical documentation, trip reports, or my cats as I feel those are things other people might find somewhat interesting. But my own struggles with this or that? Nobody cares about that, or that's what my internal monologue says.

What does it say about me that I have the opposite reaction to an external audience from Robert? I'm still fighting the current and I'm doing my best to steer my own rudder.